It was almost time for my shift at the convenience store and I was already feeling exhausted. “Nelly” and Erin were apparently in some weird grandma – granddaughter relationship and had driven me crazy throughout the day, what with their gossiping and giggling.
If all this led to me getting my throat slit and having my body buried in cement and then “forgotten” about, I was going to be pissed.
“I’ll haunt Erin till she dies.,” I muttered under my breath as I tied my shoelaces.
“What was that dearie?” Nelly asked.
“Nothing.,” I replied and went to grab my keys.
“You sure you can get a cab Erin? I can drop you off.,” I asked Erin; she had nightshifts at a nearby hospital.
“Nah. It’s ok! Nelly said she can drop me off in her car.,” she replied airily.
My eyes twitched, “And when was this decided?”
“Oh, when you had gone to get ready.,” she said as she threw me a sandwich and flopped back into her chair.
I resigned myself to the fact that I’ll be short one friend soon as I went down the stairs – nothing can convince me to take the guillotine elevator – to my car.
“Hey Miss!” a voice yelled from behind me, startled I turned around. It was a young boy; he was coming out of an apartment from the first floor.
“Yes?” I asked hesitantly.
“Did you see a cat around here? She’s an old, black cat. She got out last night and we haven’t seen her since.,” he said sounding sad.
“Oh, we haven’t but we’ll keep an eye out for her.,” I smiled.
“Ok.,” he sniffed. “Her name is Muttons.”
“Muttons?” I asked incredulously.
“Yea cus’ she likes mutton a lot.,” he explained.
“Ok uh…”
“My names Toby.”
“Alright! Ok Toby, I’ll let you know if I see Muttons around.”. I said and continued down the stairs.
Exiting the building I started walking towards my car when I suddenly felt as though I was being watched. I quickly turned around and saw, there was no one there. Feeling uneasy I walked faster, it still felt as though I was being followed. Now almost running towards my car, I almost tripped over something.
I looked down; it was a cat! An old, black cat. Muttons?
It meowed at its name and looked up as it continued to clean its paws. Sighing, I bet down and lightly petted it. It purred happily.
“You got people worried about you, you hear? Walk along now, Toby is waiting for you.,” I muttered as I lifted her up and set her aside. I patted her one last time as she flicked her tail and walked away.
The feeling of being watched returned. Looking around, I shuddered and got into my car and drove away.
…
Working at a convenience store was never easy, it was dull, boring and you always got to meet the weirdest of people. This leads me to my current scenario.
“No Sir. We don’t have that here.,” I replied patiently for the third time, wondering why anyone would need a “gravity board”.
“But you are supposed to have everything! It says so on the sign!’ he protested.
“Which sign? We don’t have one.,” I said feeling surprised.
“The sign that is right outside!” he yelled.
Feeling annoyed I walked outside to look at this sign. I sighed deeply; a feeling of desolation stole over me.
“Sir. That is a movie poster.”
“Oh. Oh! Yes. Um…alright then.”, he walked away quickly as I contemplated manslaughter.
I didn’t get paid enough for this shit.
Walking back in, I looked over at the clock, it was 4:00 am. Another hour left before my shift ended. I sat back down and pulling out my phone I called Erin.
“Hey. How is it going?” I asked.
“Ugh I am already tired. Another hour of this and I’ll go crazy.”, she whined.
“Well, another hour of this and I can go home.,” I muttered and straightened as soon as I heard the door open. A shabby looking man shuffled in, he stood for a moment looking around before he walked around the aisles aimlessly. That wasn’t suspicious at all.
“Hey, Erin. I’ll get back to you in a while.,” I replied distractedly, cutting her out mid rant and kept the phone. Giving my full attention to Mr. Shabby, I walked towards him, he stood there staring at the ketchup bottles.
“Sir, everything ok? Can I help you with something?” I called out, keeping a reasonable distance between us just in case he decided to throw a bottle at me; I didn’t want to be the sad victim of a ketchup massacre.
“Oh, yea yea, I am fine.,” he replied while smiling blankly at me, his dark eyes empty.
“Er… do you need anything?” I asked hesitantly.
“Oh, yes… uh I need… some cream, yes fresh cream and some gloves.,” he said, still with the blank smile and empty eyes.
“…. ok?” I replied and went to fetch the items. Ringing them up I put them all in a bag and gave it to him.
“Thank you.,” he said and handed me the money.
“You’re welcome, Sir.”, I replied, smiling uneasily.
“So, kind. Yes, very sad indeed. Kind.”, he kept muttering to himself and pulling at his grey hair as he picked the items and headed out. I let out a sigh of relief as the door shut close behind him.
What an odd man.
Feeling unsettled by the whole encounter I sat back down. Still having some time to kill and my phone almost out of battery, I picked one of the newspapers from the bin and perused through it.
Same old, same old; this actor broke up with that actress, that actress got new boobs, the food we eat is going to kill us, the planet is going to kill us, war and some random psycho is going around skinning women.
Well, that completes my quota of weird for the day, I thought getting up and stretching. I threw the paper back into the bin and sent Erin a text saying I was going home before locking up and leaving.
…
Entering the apartment, I made absolutely sure that the door was locked behind me; no crazy old ladies were getting in on my watch. Throwing the keys on the table, I plopped down with a sigh. Erin wouldn’t be back for an hour. This was the only peaceful time I was going to get, and I was going to use it to take a much-needed nap.
Getting comfortable on the couch, I curled up for a nap. It seemed only like few moments had passed before I was woken by a loud knock on the door.
Erin was back already? I looked at the clock, it was 7:00 am. It couldn’t be her yet. Feeling disgruntled I ambled towards the door and peeked out of the keyhole, it was Nelly! Oh, dear lord she was here to finish the job.
“Erin’s not here””, I called out.
“Pam dearie I ne..need to sp..sp..speak to you!” she called out urgently.
“About what?” I asked as I opened the door, feeling suspicious.
“You need to see th..this.”, she replied, looking grim.
Feeling worried I followed her downstairs.
I should have stayed upstairs.
There are certain moments when you feel like laughing as well as crying. Moments when you know shit has not only hit the fan but also the ceiling and the bloody vents. This was exactly what I felt when I stood outside our shitty apartment building and looking at my blood and guts covered car.
“This isn’t going to be an easy to clean up,” I muttered.
“I’d be mo…more worried ab…about the blood.,” Nelly replied.
“Yes, how the hell did this happen and why my car? Also, where were you when this happened?!,” I growled as I rounded on her.
“Wh…what do you mean?” she asked looking at me surprised. People were starting to gather around, pointing and clicking pictures. Apparently, no one was interested in calling the cops.
“Well, it is quite odd that you saw this first and no one else here knows our car. Also, your history with knives is outstanding. So, it has to be you!”, I finished triumphantly.
“Well, th…that’s wonderful dearie. Bu…but I would nev…never hurt your cat.”, she spoke slowly as though I was a child.
“Huh? I don’t have a cat.,” I replied dumbly.
“No? Bu…but lo…look.,” she pointed to the top of the car and sure enough there was the decapitated head of a poor cat. A black cat.
Oh God no, I thought. Please don’t let it be…
“Muttons!” I heard a screech from behind me. Toby stood there looking absolutely horrified.
…too late.
“Oh dear.,” Nelly whimpered.
The crowd oohed and awwed as they took pictures. Were we at a bloody convention? No cops were called yet. We were all truly beyond saving I thought morbidly.
A cab screeched to a stop close by. I could feel my blood pressure rising.
“Oh God Pam!” Erin shrieked as she ran to me, “What happened?!”.
“I think it’s quite obvious. This car. That blood. This very bad.”, I gestured wildly with my hands.
THWACK!
The sound of the slap echoed as Erin walked towards Nelly for a better explanation. And the crowd took yet more pictures.
Finally, the cops arrived and took statements from us all. The tsked and tutted but that was about it. They left saying “they’ll get back to us” but we had no hope.
I stared broodingly at my car, there was no easy way of cleaning this. There was fur stuck all over the windshield! This was going to take ages!
“Muttons!” Toby sobbed as his mother pulled him towards the apartment and away from Nelly and Erin who for some unfathomable reason were offering him the decapitated head of his cat.
“Are you both insane?! What are you doing?!,” I hissed.
“Well, it is his cat, isn’t it? I mean he will want to bury it.,” Erin said earnestly and shoved the head towards Toby, who grabbed it this time and stared at it horrified.
“Oh ok, let me just collect all the guts and fur bits too, so that he’ll have a semi complete body to bury.,” I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
The boy, still sniffling, finally turned around and left with the mother.
He was definitely going to need all the therapy he could get.
