The dirty toilets told me so.
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One of the things that aggravates me is travelling. I am ok with long drives and what not but when it comes to travelling long distances, I truly cannot call it a pleasant experience. But then again, one must remember that for each person their experience is different; some by nature are wanderers whereas some prefer to curl up on their couch with a comfortable blanket and watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. It’s safe to say that I am of the latter sort.
So, this begins from a YouTube video. Way back when I was scrolling through my YouTube feed and trying to find something interesting, I suddenly saw a travel vlog of a woman who travelled to all these pretty places and had basically filmed her journey. It was beautifully done, and I had fallen in love with it instantly, I mean who wouldn’t? She went to wonderful places and had met lovely people. I thought to myself, “Well this looks fun and interesting, I should do this sometime.”
I did and it wasn’t. What we forget about is the fact that not everything we see online is true, I mean rarely do people record their troubles or problems. Even I had ignored that and went into this with overblown expectations and my my, was it an experience.
Let me tell you all something, from hotel rooms to toilets, it’s all a lie.
Bus, Booty and Airport Security
Travel is hard enough without worrying about the mode of transport that we are taking. And no one, no matter the wanderer soul that you possess will ever say, “Oooh, 19-hour travel time? Let’s do it!”
You cannot, don’t lie to me. I love how the moment we sit the chair is all comfortable and all but after the first two hours it feels as though Satan has handcrafted it for us. Everything becomes annoying, the tiny seats, that one guy who keeps stealing your arm rest and the leaky A/C.
But first let’s start with the road transport, buses to be more precise. We have got to admire the drivers patience, to sit nonstop and listen to the passengers complain, get assaulted by the Sun and keep driving? That’s an unholy talent. I’d have snoozed off in the first two hours and probably taken the people on a more permanent vacation.
I personally love how each road bump lets you experience life as a bobble head also I am totally jealous of those who can read on road transports without painting the walls in their own vomit. Talent indeed.
Storytime!
Once I was in a bus and I saw this weird looking crack on the windshield glass, I’ll admit it was a shady looking bus. Now the crack looked as though someone tried to break it on purpose. Now the question was, did someone try to break in or break out? Neither seemed like a safe possibility.
…onwards!
So, now coming to flight’s. You’d think that going by air will be a breeze but oh no no, it’s not. The absolute frustrating part is the security. Now I am not saying that airport security is annoying no it’s the people who stand in line for the security who make it unbearable.
Good god the people who come dressed to the nine’s with their ten million accessories, like where do you think you’re going? We’re both in the same flight. I swear by the time they manage to remove it all, the flight is ready to depart.
Then comes the flight, people pay thousands for butt lifts but after a long flight the moment you get up from that seat, you have a Brazilian butt lift granted by the government for free.
The surprising part is even then people have the energy to film everything, what sorcery is this? All I want to do is lay down and curl up into a jellybean.
To pee, or not to pee, or cannot pee?
Ok let’s discuss the obvious, bathrooms when you go on a trip. I call this the Game of Toilets, you never know what disease will kill you and how. First of all, I stop drinking water when I am travelling, this is mostly because I want to avoid the bathrooms. The reason for this is very simple, the various toilets that I have seen while travelling are enough to inspire fear in the bravest of us.
This is not just about the toilets I have encountered by road, it’s also while flying. I feel as though some of us forget to flush while travelling or at least find it a little bit difficult to do so. And the smell, ye gods the smell, how can it be so unholy? The moment I open the door it’s an absolute assault to the senses. The funniest part is the different things that you end up finding in there; from diapers to food – why do you need food in there? Isn’t our purpose the opposite of eating in there? – I even once found clothes, why?
Storytime!
So, once we were on a road trip, it was late night and we had been on the road for a while, we had been searching for a good hotel for a while but were unable to find any. Then we decided ok let’s just make a stop here – it was a pit stop – freshen up and then continue our search.
Since, it had almost been an entire day I had to pee, so I became brave and decided to go to the washroom, not my smartest decision. First the smell that came wafting out as soon as I opened the door almost killed me, but I really needed to go, so I opened the door further, everything was green, why? The washroom on its own was white but it looked like a giant broccoli exploded in there. And there was something moving in the toilet and that was it for me, before whatever toilet demon was in there decided to consume me, I ran.
…onwards!
Maybe there are clean toilets, but I haven’t seen this fantastical place yet. What surprises me in airplane toilets is, how does the toilet paper get everywhere? What sorcery is this? For all these reasons and more I try to avoid toilets while travelling like the plague because it’s like flipping a coin, you may or may not get a good one.
Finding that middle ground
There’s none, you either like it or you don’t. Or you just whine and become cranky till you curl up in your blanket with a cup of your favorite poison.
It’s a thin line really. For the wandering soul, all of these are minor inconveniences so it’s all fun, but if you’re like me you go through 10 million scenarios seeing if you can make it to the other end without killing someone, the chances are very less.
My advice is, try it once. You might actually like it and if you don’t? At least you’ll have great story. Or an inspiration for an article.
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Thank you for reading! Also, I sure do love support and coffees! 💜
