This post popped into my mind after a few phone calls that managed to frustrate me to no end while reminding me of the fact that human beings are just too nosy. We all love to gossip and that’s alright, gossip in a way works as a currency of sorts. We trade it to obtain information of our choosing while transferring information that someone else needs. It’s a great way to connect to people too, we are a social species after all. Even the most introverted of us have some kind of social network, be it online or offline. It’s just the sense of belongingness that matters.
There are boundaries though, but this is where the lines seem to get a tad bit mixed up. Let’s consider human interaction as a set where set A is acceptable interaction and set B is unacceptable interaction, in-between in the intersection lies the gray area of “Well-Wishers” who do not know when to stop talking.
For some unfathomable reasons, people think it is completely alright to swing between the two, no it’s not, we are not that close yet. I would prefer for set A and B to not overlap at all, for me they exist on two different planets, yet I find it truly amusing the ways people crawl into the “Well-Wisher” zone. The reasons are great too.
- Let Me Pick A Profession For You
This is where it all begins folks. The “Well-Wishers” (WW) use this as a leeway to crawl into your life and slowly begin to take over the steering wheel like some sort of toxic backseat driver. But the ironic part is that we are somehow equally responsible for it. Having spent quite a bit of my life dealing with them has allowed me to come up with a theory that I label the Ouija Board Demon (OBD) Effect.
Let me show you how it works, let’s start with choosing a profession for ourselves. From the moment you step foot inside a school to the moment you pick your high school classes, we are all asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Fair enough, curiosity is a necessity but sometimes our younger confused selves have no idea, and we make the mistake of asking someone for advice.
Now, there is nothing wrong with the “advice” part but the “someone” part can be very tricky indeed because if it’s a wrong “someone” then our OBD cycle begins.
STEP 1: “I am here for you” (You have summoned a demon)
The WW make their slimey way towards you and marks you as a potential target. This establishes primary contact. Since you were the one to approach getting rid of them is going to be difficult. If by luck someone else introduced you to them or if they approached on their own, you still have time to sever the connection.
Once the initial contact is established the OBD will begin to slowly sink its claws into you by being kind and supportive. Your personal cheerleader. You will feel as though you have an amazing support system but that’s when things become a little blurred.
The OBD is happy until you follow its chosen path, but should you deviate, it’ll be absolutely appalled. Because somewhere the word “advice” was switched out for “command”. The now “concerned” OBD will pester you throughout the process saying how they are worried about you and how you might end up struggling for a job etc.
Basically, be ready for very persistent phone calls. Also, they will now begin their familial brainwashing process because of course the OBD has the fundamental right to decide what someone else’s job is.
- Let Me Pick A Partner For You
Once you seem to be getting moderately successful in your career, the OBD sniffs out what it considers to be your next problem – your status as a single person.
The OBD’s approach in this matter hinges on your gender too, truly amusing. Because apparently if you are a woman your expiration date arrives as soon as you hit 25. So, once you turn 21 the OBD begins its approach but this time it won’t approach you directly.
This time it crawls towards your parents and once they give it attention, it starts whispering:
“Oh, you don’t want to put away these matters for too long.”
“Time runs by quickly.”
“If you wait for too long, all the eligible ones will be gone.”
“It’s better to have children when you’re young.”
Reeled in by these vicious whispers, your parents will feel compelled to let the OBD in.
The worst mistake you can make.
STEP 2: “What can we do?” (Asking questions. You have given the demon powers.)
The moment we acknowledge their “concern” they’ll come bounding in with all the speed of a gazelle and take over everything.
Your every waking moment will be filled with pictures of “prospective” brides and grooms.
One might think ignoring them would be a great idea but no, this only escalates the situation wherein they will then proceed to bombard you with incessant phone calls and texts to check if you saw the biodata of their pick.
God forbid that you fall in love or choose someone on your own because nothing would offend the OBD more. Since you allowed the OBD so much power they will spend the entirety of their time putting down your choice and finding flaws throughout the process of marriage.
Unless you stop them outright, but do you have the strength to do that?
- Let Me Pick Parenthood For You
You’d think they’ll let you settle once you are married, but no such luck they take this as an excuse to crawl into your life further and stay there. Their reason for this is, “We are just worried for you”.
Once you begin settling in, you’ll notice that the phone rings more often and who could that be?
Oh, look it’s the OBD. Calling in to check up on you. Wonder why?
Apparently, they have the right to your reproductive organs and can dictate when and how they must be used.
They start small, “You don’t want to put this off for too long.”
Never make the mistake of saying “Yea, we are planning.”
STEP 3: “PLANNING” (An open door. Now it’s here to stay.)
Somehow “planning” equates to an iron-clad date and from then onwards it’ll never leave you alone and will be attached to you like a glorified leech.
If you ever want to avoid this conversation you must draw the line clearly and be firm that certain decisions are entirely your own.
In some situations, it is OK to not be polite.
…
Now, what can you do to get rid of the OBD? Distance and boundaries. You must have distance and boundaries; at the end of the day, it is YOU who needs to make a change. It is YOUR life; sure, you may not fit the perfect template of society but that doesn’t make you a wrong person.
Trust in yourself and the choices that you make, the OBDs acceptance or opinion won’t make you a better person. It’s your happiness and that matters too.
So, make the hard choices on your own because when it truly matters, the OBD will not even be around.
