Let’s try to get through this in one piece
.
.
.
Getting married is no easy thing to accomplish, it’s stressful, there’s drama, thing’s going wrong, and then one day before you realize you forgot to pack that one thing you needed the most. I was stressed too, a lot. I tried not to process everything all at once though. I prefer the method of detachment more than anything, it helps keep me sane. But another thing that really helped me a lot was reading up online about someone else’s experiences and how they managed to not drive themselves insane. It was an immense relief I wasn’t alone in my paranoia.
We all worry over different things; what might be a big deal for me, is of not much importance to someone else. So, even in my search for answers on how to have a perfect day I was still lost because I had some questions and concerns that others did not or at least didn’t expand upon. But once everything was said and done, I managed to find the answers. But what do I do with all this information? I obviously don’t need it anymore.
So, I am doing the next best thing. Writing it down. Maybe someone has the same questions as mine? The least I can do for a fellow explorer is help them out. Alright, brides, let’s see how we can avoid being a bridezilla:
1. Avoiding Satan’s Heels
Looking good is obviously non-negotiable on your special day but please make sure you are NOT sacrificing valuable and necessary body parts for it. The first of them is your feet. When I was shopping for my outfits, I came across these beautiful heels and fell in love with them instantly.
I got them without a second thought, and never have I regretted something more.
Though they looked wonderful there are quite a few drawbacks to wearing heels for 3 hours!
Such as the feeling of walking upon the crumbling bones of your ancestors while simultaneously being set on fire.
The ceremony being Indian was held at an unholy hour in the morning, so after spending hours getting dressed and prepping for the day I finally got to put on my beloved heels. Now, let it be known that I am a person who frequently wears heels, so this wasn’t something new for me and I was pretty confident that I’d last the whole day.
I did not.
“This is going to be painful.” My mother commented. She was not wrong.
The start of the ceremony was all Lalala but then came along the picture-taking session, within the first hour of the session my soul had left my body and I had started seeing God.
But luckily my close friends and family had the foresight to keep an extra pair of cushy sandals in case my feet died and my god the relief I felt when I switched them was amazing.
So, brides if ever you decide to wear heels go for it but just in case keep an extra pair of comfortable sandals ready to go.
Cranky feet make you a tad bit murderous.
2. Finding The Actual Queen Of The Ceremony
Sure, the bride is important but there’s a team behind the bride who holds it all together in the background, even in the bride’s fragile mental condition and that’s the highly honored team of bridesmaids!
Well to be very honest I had only two of them but trust me they were worth a hundred bridesmaids, and I would have been half insane without them. Considering the fact that I am an introvert, one of my bridesmaids was long-distance yet she flew out immediately with a single question.
From arranging virtual bachelorette parties, speaking a foreign tongue while trying to order food, and staying up during the night for 3 hours while trying to order the perfect veil and accessories, they did it all.
They didn’t try to strangle me even once.
Picking a bridesmaid isn’t just about whether they are your close friends or relatives. It’s about whether you are comfortable with them and will or won’t they bludgeon you with the nearest blunt object while you are being insane.
Just because you are getting married does not mean you get to be a demonic little shit.
3. It’s Not About The Dress But What’s Under It
Trust me guys, I mean it. We spend hours worrying about what we are wearing on the outside and whether or not it’s perfect enough that we forget about what is on the inside and if it’s comfortable or not.
It’s not just about the matching bra and underwear part of it but also the annoying thing that is known as sweating that we do. Deodorants, perfumes, and air conditioners can only do so much when your outfit weighs a ton, and you are covered in enough accessories and makeup to make Aphrodite jealous.
I tried many ways to work around this problem and I’ll tell you a few of the things that actually work.
Step 1: Men’s deodorant works better. Trust me they do. For some reason, many people think that women do not sweat or that we smell like flowers when we do. I don’t know about you, but I don’t.
Step 2: The next thing that actually works is sweat pads and trust me these were a game changer! They are not bulky, and they are also long-lasting.
Once you are comfortably dressed and have taken care of minute issues like this, you breathe easier and sweat less. The theory is that the more you panic, the more you sweat. Make it easier for yourself.
4. The Bottomless Purse
I CANNOT reiterate how important this step is and it’s not all about packing what you need. It’s about packing what could you possibly need. Remember as they say, “It’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.”
There are many things that you can throw into your bag, but I feel the method that works best is defining clearly what takes priority for you, from breath mints to perfume, what do you need the most?
The inside of my bag basically had:
- Breathe mints (A must)
- Tissue paper (To wipe away the tears caused by the heels)
- Safety pins
- Hairpins
- Tiny soap sheets
- Your phone – Don’t forget its charger
- A small mirror
- Lipstick
- Comb
If you feel you still need some other items, keep your bridesmaids close at hand and they can have your things with them. Also, pack your overnight bag beforehand. I kept toiletries, an extra outfit, the next day’s outfit with accessories, and nightwear along with an extra pair of shoes.
5. Newbies, Makeup Is No Joke
This is for those who think makeup is a simple affair and hardly takes any effort. Wrong assumption child, very wrong assumption. It’s an hour of you sitting and getting it put on along with 3 hours of you removing it. Carry makeup remover, lots of it along with tissues to help you remove it, a good moisturizer, and lotions to revive your tortured skin.
It took me a whole shower session to get it all off and even then, my hair felt stiff. The hair was the most difficult part of the entire process. The spray definitely held up to its name, there was no way it was letting my hair lay flat. A copious amount of water was needed.
And the pins, dear god the pins.
All I can say is that keep a kit just to declutter yourself. A tiny bag or pouch to keep your accessories and all your pins along with a fresh lens case and it’s liquid if you use it.
If you wear lenses, then keep backup glasses too.
Attention! DO NOT try anything new on your skin the week before the wedding.
Also, patience, you’ll need this in spades.
…
Marriage ceremonies aren’t perfect, and neither are we so our obsession with trying to make them perfect is a tad bit unfair. We cannot cater to every single person’s need and why must we? At the end of the day, it isn’t about them and they aren’t going to be there throughout our lives, so just focus on yourself and take it one tiny step at a time.
It’s not about the grand part, it’s about the happy part; it’s about the sentiments. Trust me you won’t remember the ceremony, but you will remember the excitement, the energy, and the laughter. So, just pack your stuff, sort out your outfit, chill with your gang and call it a day.
You deserve the quiet time.
