It is 6pm, I sat down to go through my lesson plans and activity items checklist for the next day. My phone buzzed atop my desk indicating the arrival of a text message.
Teacher could you make sure Anna sits in the front? She is distracted at the back.
Thank you!
Sighing I mentally run the seating plan through my head, deciding how best to accommodate as well as explain that every child gets a turn to sit in the front.
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This is just one of the many problems that we face. Teaching comes with a side of negotiation. We negotiate with the kids; we negotiate with the parents. It is understandable, we can’t simply yell and expect things to fall into place. Things are more liable to fall apart when we do so.
Dealing with parents always made me nervous, it still does. Am I doing the right thing? Was I rude? Is this particular demand too much? Did I deduct too many marks? And the list goes on… It is ok to second guess ourselves. No human is perfect, flaws allow for improvement.
Based on countless trial and error methodologies, I found a series of statements – a checklist if you will – to run unconsciously through my mind while interacting with parents. Hopefully, they might just prove handy for you once in a while.
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Parents are professionals too.
This is something we must keep in mind while dealing with them. The are not our students, nor are they children. They are educated adults working from 9 to 5. They have their own set of duties. This is where most of the issues occur. Some of them genuinely miss out on a lot of what happens at school and when they only hear snippets, they react to that alone.
For example: Cindy told her dad Polly pushed her down. Cindy’s dad came to school angry that his daughter got hurt and no action was taken. Cindy’s teacher then explains that Polly and Cindy were play during the break, Polly tripped over Cindy causing her to fall. Both of them were taken to the Clinic immediately for care.
We must see from their point of view, they are concerned and leave their children in our care, so the best way to go about this is to hear them out and clear away their concerns.
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Parents are always right… until they aren’t.
It goes without saying, parents know their child well. But there are differences to be expected in how a child functions at home, and how he functions at school. This is mostly dependent upon a series of factors such as parent, teacher, and friends.
A strict household could result a more boisterous student in class, or a strict teacher could result a more active child during break when he’s out of the class.
Children react to their surroundings. So there have been times when a student has been noisy or has caused a disturbance, and when I have mentioned it during a PTM, the parents were shocked and could not believe.
My takeaway from such incidents is that do not explain the scenario in such a way that we bring the student down, its easy to say, “Oh Layla? She is always naughty!”.
We do not know what this will result to. It could be that the parents become disappointed or scold her. This in turn breeds resentment in the child and causes further disruptive behaviour in class.
Explain to the parents politely. Put forward the positives first and then ease into the complications.
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Its OK to say No.
No isn’t always easy to say. As a teacher our priority is to make sure whatever we decide benefits the students. There will be times when the parents feel the decision taken by us might not be the right one. If you feel what you’re doing is right the be confident and stand by it. This does not mean we have to be rude about it. Be polite and explain your reason behind it. Trust me they will understand. In fact, they will support you.
There are no hard and fast rules while dealing with parents. Every teacher has their own way of handling the situations which pop up. I would say hear them all out but trust your instincts. It’s all about taking it one day at a time. Happy teaching!
