Reinforcement strategies of the insane.
Alright fair warning, none of this is something I’d recommend anyone to apply, mostly because I have been told many times over that I have no emotional management whatsoever. But hey, I can’t be the absolute worst at this?
So, how to remain positive?
On any given day we face so many challenges that positivity seems something almost unattainable and if you’re anything like me, nonexistent. But then we see people walking around all calm and collected like as though they have met God and achieved ultimate peace or something. Sorcery? What is their secret?
I tried many times to unlock their superpowers, to no avail. I read many self-help books; I got no help from those. Then I decided to construct my own methods, this was where things got interesting; I came up with so many tricks.
The point is when you live life on permanent crisis mode, it’s better to have some tricks up your sleeve, otherwise your meltdown will claim something or someone in its path. It might be of zero help to you but let me share some of my tricks; perhaps on a really bad day it might actually help you or at least pull you back a little.
Onwards!
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Down The Hill Theory
This theory hinges on the fact that things can and will always go horribly wrong. I know it sounds a bit off but the reason why this has always worked for me is, it helps me be prepared.
You know the part where they say, “Always have a plan B”? Well, this lets me be prepared with a plan A, B, C and D.
Whenever things get bad, I am always like, “Well, what else can go wrong?” So, what can I do to clean this up a bit?
It helps me back away a bit and look at things from a different perspective. Pulling back detaches me from the situation and come up with multiple ways to salvage things a little bit.
Most of the time before a big event or an important day I just think of all the horrible ways things can go wrong – from small incidents to apocalyptic events ( random meteor showers can kill you ) – and come up with contingency plans.
Even when things go wrong, I know that at least to an extent I’ll still retain some level of control over my destruction. So, remember, even at your worst, there’s always a way out.
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Worst Case Scenario Theory
I usually use this whenever I am starting something new, like a job interview etc. I panic easy so what I do is, I imagine what’s the worst that could happen?
Back to the job interview scenario, when I was applying for my first job, I was basically a stuttering mess throughout my interview, so much so that I basically just stuttered my way through the interview and messed up so many times. It didn’t end well.
But the thought of going through that again terrified me, so I came up with a plan. I thought, “What’s the worst that could happen?” I wouldn’t get the job, and its ok, what matters is that I don’t stop here. I need to keep going.
Trust me, the calm that flows through you in that moment is everything. It lets you gather up all your worries and box it up neatly in a corner so that we can open it up later in the night and cry over it in embarrassment.
Everything seems important until it isn’t. So. This isn’t the end, we just need to keep going.
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Fake It Until You Believe It Theory
Nobody is perfect at anything; we all have our own struggles, but we have to start from somewhere. That’s where this theory comes in. The origin of this theory lies in my struggles while learning something new, usually whenever we give a job interview, we kind of do upsell ourselves, once we get the job we have to live up to that hype.
Most of the time we panic when we see the task that now lies before us, everything is new, everyone is new; it’s a lot to take in. We panic, we stress ourselves and eventually we mess up. I don’t know about you, but this is how it goes for me.
So, how to survive?
I fake it.
It is about lying; it is about working around the nervousness we have whenever we deal with something new. We all hate not knowing something or coming off as inexperienced in a workplace but its ok to not know stuff. We can always learn.
So, when there’s something I don’t know I pretend I know a little bit about it to avoid the nervousness then I slowly take the time to learn it until I believe that I know it.
Before you can convince anyone else, you need to convince yourself; that you can do this, only then can you convince someone else.
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These are some of the things that have helped me when I was drowning in my own fears and nervousness. Remember no matter how difficult things may seem right now, it’ll all come together. And if nothing else, remember we’ll all die one day, in that perspective everything seems much simpler.
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